moreshortstuff

Life, kids etc.

All I want for Christmas is everything, Daddy

on March 9, 2012
English: TOYS “Я” US (Toys R Us), Oxford...

I want everything in it and I want it NOW, Daddy

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE BOLTON NEWS, FRIDAY 28 OCTOBER 2011
THE clocks haven’t gone back yet – I think that means it’s technically still summer.
We’ve not even had Halloween and Bonfire Night is more than a week away.
Yet on Wednesday, the same day the Toy Retailers’ Association released its guide to this year’s 12 must have toys for Christmas, I was presented with my son’s own festive wish list.
There are more than 700 things on it and it comes to roughly £35,000 worth of toys. He is four and I am not Donald Trump, so he is likely to be disappointed on December 25.
He only started school in September so his hand writing is not the best. It looks like he got a dog to do it for him, for a biscuit.
Which means his list was not written, but comprised of things he had cut out of a catalogue from The Entertainer toy store and stuck to several sheets of card.
For all the things he wants, he may as well have just handed me the catalogue and said: “I want all of it, Daddy.”
I have no idea how he managed to get hold of the catalogue, by the way. It’s fair to say he never goes out of the house alone and struggles to wipe his own bum properly.
Actually, I’m surprised he managed to cobble a list together so quickly. It was only Monday when he snorted with derision at his Mum’s suggestion that he put together a list of the things he wanted. And that was only to stop him pointing at the telly and saying: “I want that one,” like a little version of the Little Britain character, every single time an advert for a toy came on.
“A list??!!” he said.
“Can you not just send Father Christmas a message on your phone instead?”
He is full of questions, that boy. Other recent gems include: “Do footballers like waterfalls?” the classic: “Can horses bend over?” and of course: “Whose side were the dinosaurs on in the war?”
He’s actually been compiling his Christmas list, mentally, for months now. It includes, among other things, lots of Ben 10 toys, a Transformers voice-changing helmet, Star Wars lightsaber (that makes slightly different noises to the ones he already has), Power Rangers action figures, Toy Story writing bureau, a drumming Elmo, Disney Cars walkie talkies and Winnie the Pooh pregnancy testing kit.
I think the amount of branded goods he’s asked for shows just how suggestible he is when it comes to the TV adverts.
Luckily, me and Mrs Short believe we can turn that to our advantage. Our plan is to only watch the cookery channels on Sky when the boy’s around. Our thinking is that the ads might exert their influence on his young mind and make him rethink his list. It would be really handy if he decided he wanted a nice set of non stick pans instead of all those toys. Or a blender. I’ll let you know how we get on.
*Friday night film: Twilight: Eclipse. Grrr.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: